Filming with WebMD

It’s easier to put on red lipstick and scream on the inside.

Casual kitchen interview look

In November, I spent two days filming with a crew for WebMD. I share my endometriosis journey to help spread better information, to break down the isolation of the alienating condition. Because it’s chronic, I worry how it will affect my career. I worry that people will just look at me as sick and weak. I know those are fears, not facts, so I’m so glad WebMD has a three part series about endometriosis in which I am one of the features (and I talk about these fears).

Often I hear, I didn’t know it was so bad. Endometriosis isn’t a light conversation. It’s easier to put on red lipstick and scream on the inside. Pushing down trauma doesn’t work (it will roar), so here’s a special shout to the practitioners that have helped me listen to my body and advocate for better care: Indigo Physiotherapy, Caitlin Self, Sustainability Wellness, Be Psychotherapy, and not a practitioner, but In the Dark Circus Arts has been a magical space. Then of course, there is Staci, doing so much for the community at Cramped Style blog and the Baltimore Flow.

I’m of the mind that health justice and civil rights have similar goals—so let’s work together to change the experiences for the next generation. Watch all three videos through the link.

The book I’ve been savoring: Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, translated by Antonia Lloyd-Jones.

Stay sweaty and glittery.

Welcome

Welcome to #poetsthatsweat.

On this blog, I’m bringing together my two loves: language and movement. I started using the hashtag, #poetsthatsweat, facetiously a few years ago to get over my embarrassment of being a jock and artist. I’m no longer concerned about being embarrassed.

I’ve also spent a long time pretending to be fine. Since officially diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis in April 2018 (after over a decade of pain, more in a later post), I’ve been looking for ways to express joy. Casual clothes, hard work, and coffee fuel me, but I’ve had to be more strategic if I’m being honest about the chronic fatigue that comes with endometriosis. I’m always thinking about how I will feel in the coming days, trying to ration my energy while still participating in things I love.

On this blog you’ll find my thoughts on running, circus arts (find a solo of me losing myself in a Kesha song here), writing, and reading in the context of health. All things that lead to joy in some way. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, right?

Most recent reading pleasure: I finished Station Eleven yesterday morning. What an intricate, masterfully written book. Emily St. John Mandel weaves multiple lives together in a society nearly decimated by the Georgia Flu. As you read, you find out how Station Eleven has touched each character. The world is so big, yet so small in the energies of lives that bind us. This line stuck with me:

“If nothing else, it’s pleasant to consider the possibility.”

I want possibilities to look better for future generations of women, womyn. Treatment in the healthcare system is a piece of equal opportunity. Endometriosis hasn’t been studied on a broad scale, only recently receiving major funding.  Medicine’s history is full of patriarchal treatment. I can look back at the rage in my poetry and say “I see why you feel that way.” I am not the first to say this either. Read Dora Malech’s The Kenyon Review blog post CLIFTON, PAIN, AND POETRY. There is finally federal funding to research endometriosis, which will hopefully mean something.

For now, here are some quick resources that have helped me:

Thanks for reading. Stay sweaty and glittery.