Tag: poems

I Want Francis Bacon To Draw Me

A writer I admire posted my poem, I WANT FRANCIS BACON TO DRAW ME, a few months ago, and it did not sit well with a few internet commenters. I have voiced in different settings I do not expect all of my poems to be welcomed. They are not sweet. I have a point of view. I have been waiting for someone to be offended. This was exciting to see even a handful of people argue. I tell people to not read the comments, but I fail to take my own advice. Art should be discussed. I can’t find an exact quote, but I think often about how one of the hardest things as an artist is to be ignored.

To me, that poem is nasty, from my personal promising young woman era (read: revenge). A few folks dismissed the poem in the comments. These ideas that a young woman cannot go outside without her body commented on are part of the bigger picture of safety & control. Then, you have Francis Bacon, an artist that absolutely blew my young mind when I saw an exhibit of his work at The Met in 2009, who has captivated me ever since. The atrocities of war, the turmoil of being queer in that era – he captured the bleakness in a way I had never seen before. He is often on my mind as I push what I am willing to write. Bacon was not addressing chronic illness, but his portraits characterize the pain & turmoil of endometriosis better than anything else I have seen (including the barbed-wire around the abdomen portraits).

The poem is tucked on page seventy-one of my book. I often perform the “funnier” poems at events, but there is a lot of unbridled rage in the book. I have read a few live, like YOU DIDN’T CHOOSE / YOU DIDN’T CHOOSE / YOU. Bmore Art chose to publish it in their fall 2024 issue, so I’ve read it a few times because I wanted to do that selection justice. But otherwise, the poems that I do not employ humor in are too painful to read out loud. As the artist, I can self-select the performance in public you see.

I joke that my book is for 18-24 year old femmes. But that’s not really a joke. I am deadly serious about the importance of the opinions of young people, as serious as I am about not snuffing someone’s creative spark. As I continue to grabble with the difference between what exists in a book & what is performed at an event, I hope you continue to engage with art from the creative people around you. It’s what makes us human.

Soooooooo you can see for yourself & form your own opinions – EMOTION INDUSTRY officially released from Barrelhouse Books on October 15, 2024. You can purchase a copy HERE. I linked to the Bookshop page because they support Indie Bookstores. I also highly encourage you to ask your favorite local bookstore to order it. Local bookstores always have the best individualized recommendations, and when you order from them, it also puts my book in front of a new set of eyes. Thank you!

Books I’m thinking about / recently read:

  • Television Fathers by Sylvia Jones
  • It All Felt Impossible by Tom McAllister

Stay sweaty and glittery. None of us are free until all of us are free.

the void occurred to me

After all things occurred to me,
the void occurred to me. 
“End of Summer”, Louise Glück

I have the tendency to say to myself, “oh I’ll write a nice race recap,” and then privately mull it over while never actually writing it. Oops. It goes into the void of my brain, to paraphrase Louise Glück.

Winona Forest Backyard Ultra was a wonderful experience from an organizing perspective. The course had the clearest directions I’ve ever followed. Anywhere you could take a wrong turn, the race director put a string of flags blocking the path. In a race where you are plodding on the same loop, yet becoming increasingly stupid every hour, this was GREAT. There were lights for the start/finish of night running, and easy camping on location.

I ran 34 miles, 8 yards. I knew I’d been training for shorter speed and the heat + humidity would be tough for me, so I’m content with that result. Not happy. Not disappointed. Just content that I kept going, when I started telling my partner around mile 24 that I was thinking about dropping. We drove 6 hours to the race, a 50k felt like an arbitrary, worthwhile distance.

My favorite part of the day: the conversations. In a Backyard, you can find someone to run with the entire time if you want (also, if they want to chat – read the room). What a different experience from a trail ultra, where you can spend 6+ hours completely alone. I commiserated with a runner I met at Bullshit Backyard Ultra (highly recommend this race for the special community, but dang it was hard as heck), talked with a teacher + photographer about what art & work looks like, and spent time with a woman who had never gone over a marathon before. She ran 40 miles that day.

Are cumulative experiences timeless? Probably. If they are specific enough. I’m reading Nora Ephron’s book, Wallflower at the Orgy, and although the original edition was published in 1970, I am laughing out loud or nodding along vigorously. She writes with VOICE. Her writing has an energy. I only know a couple of the names in her essay on the messy world of the food critics, but the drama is evergreen when thinking about any small, insular creative community.

Last night, I was talking with a few people about poetry. At first, one person said they couldn’t write poetry because the form is so concise. Then we laughed, because what about epics like the Odyssey? The Bible? Some of our longest stories ever told are in the form of a poem.

Like how I enjoy the connections on the run, I’m writing to make connections. I have no idea what will stand the test of time. But we are here together, now, and I’m going to write about existential dread, eggs, and the moon.

Books I’m thinking about / recently read:

  • Wallflower at the Orgy by Nora Ephron
  • The Wild Iris by Louise Gluck

Stay sweaty and glittery. None of us are free until all of us are free.